Most of us have pretended to be ok with something to save a relationship, or just to cope. What’s something you pretended to be ok with?
An absolutely disastrous haircut at 19. I wasn’t remotely assertive then, so when she made me look like a hamster I pretended to be ok and went home and sobbed.
I’ve been there. Same reaction. I don’t like making a fuss with service staff unless it seems deliberate. But neither do I like short hair; never did. It just makes me look goofy.
Hey I did this at 37 and have been terrified of salons since.
Understandable
not being able to cuddle in my relationships, I thought I didn’t need ur but I simply do require ur
Sitting at the dinner table while family, people that I thought compassionate and logical, eat flesh.
People at work.
Excellent point… any true horror stories?
One guy in particular, when I started said he doesn’t like me out of the blue. Never interacted with him at all before. He seemed like the biggest asshole anyways so whatever. Turns out he’s a Trump supporter which confirms to me, I was right. Recently he’s felt the need to advertise it even more plastering stickers all over his gear and stuff.
Edit: Just realized where I was, sorry! I’m a bit lost 😁
Ugh. Redcaps. Worst people on the planet right now.
Salacious, but not graphic.
Anal.
I hate it. But every so often I’ll allow it as a “treat”. And I have to pretend to enjoy it.
Ugh.
Done similar with exes. “Oooh yes I love this murderously uncomfortable position/ incredibly boring act woop yay”
I blame it on porn. Positions that put the naughty bits on full display while sexing are not exactly … ah … comfortable. But porn has become the training ground for sex for so many men. 🙄
Yep if it feels good it looks like shit and if it looks good it feels like shit
Well a good partner will learn what you like and enjoy and will not pressure you to do anything that you don’t enjoy.
Man that sucks :( I’m curious, why do you feel like you have to allow it and pretend to enjoy it?
There’s give and take in every relationship. Sometimes I do things I’m not terribly fond of because my partner is. Sometimes the other direction is true. I don’t do it frequently (because I don’t really like any aspect of it), but sometimes 🤷♀️ you do things for love.
As for pretending to enjoy it, it wouldn’t be much of a “reward” if I just visibly endured it. I don’t go with people who only think of themselves; they usually want me to enjoy myself as well. I can do something that I don’t really like for a while if it makes someone I love happy. And probably vice versa.
The concept of marriage, monogamous people pretending to be polyamorous, sex being the only thing we had left, people that had undiscsussed expectations of us, people that used us, hierarchy in our relationships, going to weddings, parents and siblings.
We then figured it all out and realised we’re relationship anarchists who never want to be married because to us that denotes a hierarchy, we’re okay with sex but only if we have a strong emotional connection to somebody (and that takes a long long time). We will never date people who are really only monogamous again, we won’t date people who aren’t okay with their expectations of us (beyond just not being an asshole etc) not being met if we can’t meet them and they don’t discuss them with us, we don’t like weddings, and unless someone is certain we will get on well with their parents and siblings we have no desire to meet them as we have been treated badly many times by such people or seen them treat previous partners badly.
Also one of us’s parents and sibling and all their abuse over the years.
Also the abuse and stiffling that both school and jobs inflicted on us, none of them really helped nor understood us and we ended up leaving both in the end with very little to show for it.
