I always found the shepherd metaphor questionable, on account of the reason you keep sheep is to eat them
Also wool and milk, but ultimately, yeah.
I think it’s highly appropriate, as sheep are fleeced.
So’s your mother
What part didn’t make sense? Upon your death your soul is released. You see Jesus. You float towards him. You are eaten.
The reason we have the ten commandments is that sin makes the soul taste gamey.
A lot of Jesus’ teachings are higly questionable, and are impossible to apply unless you’re a part of a travelling cult. Mainstream Christianity only pays lip service to his moral framework and is more commited to maintaining power and prestige for its priest caste.
Hail Satan
Hail, Satan! Hail, Satan and all the devils of hell!
Hail, Astaroth. Hail, Asmodeus. Hail, Yokshodoth. Hail, the wicked kings of the ninth circle! Piss into the eyes of the infant Christ!
How has Jesus got a paraffin lamp?
he’s from the olden days
11 - So Paul stayed in Corinth for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.
NIV, for those wondering what usually came next.
12 - And Billy-bob-joe-ray said “dang woke lib shit. Fake news God!” and put on his Make Bethlehem Great Again hat.
Cause of course no Christian ever suffered anything, for they were under His protection, mmh? Maybe He was a bit distracted…
No, you don’t understand, he was just testing them. Totally a prank, bro.
I’ve encountered a few internet anti-christians who scoff when told to look at the context, but this is one of those times where the Christians should look at the context, too. Acts 18:9-11
9 One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. 10 For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.” 11 So Paul stayed in Corinth for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+18&version=NIV
God told Paul, specifically and individually, “you keep on speaking in this city where there are a lot of christians”, and Paul did, and wasn’t harmed. Extrapolating this to all Christians everywhere is… Really, really bad theology. (Especially considering how Paul died… )
Mutton on the menu. I swear to God that Jesus would so love the rich stew I could put together. He could perhaps maybe lay down a Bible verse heaping praise upon the slow simmered decadence of what goes through a Shepherd’s mind when utilizing one of the babies into something so life affirming and delicious as a red wine braised & slow roasted lamb to warm the soul during these frigid winter spells.
Jesus want to be careful he might get deported.
Cthulhu fhtagn!
rAmen
Nema
You wish.
mena
A man.
A plan. A canal. Panama!
