I always heard that pearls/jade and n’joy were slower growing varieties of the original marble queen. I found that mine started to really take off after I pruned it back and stuck a couple of fertilizer sticks in the pot. I’ve also got a marble and I gotta say, it’s been keeping up with it growth-wise lately haha

Looking at the pot, that’s legitimately the first idea I had if OP wants to go the malicious compliance route. I’d be tempted to build a table around the plant pot. Something like this (but for outdoors):