I have a childhood friend who was very recently diagnosed with autism. We talked a little while ago and he brought it up. My first thought was “ah, yep, that explains a lot”.
He’s still a great friend. It didn’t change anything about him, rather it helped make sense of his behaviors that we all just saw as “that’s just how [friend] is”.
I already knew I was autistic I got diagnosed like 10 years ago as an adult, but I had never taken the test in question (Cat-Q) and I guess I kinda figured my autism was “light” or something. I think the test’s questions were very effective at breaking through high masking so that’s why I scored so heavily autistic and it kind of struck me so hard it made me cry. Masking is exhausting and at this point I can’t really “stop” its so ingrained.
For me I don’t think there is anything intrinsically wrong with me but I think some aspects of it fueled some really stifling early life decisions that kept me from growing (before I learned I was autistic) and now I feel like I’m permanently “behind” socially/developmentally. Part of that also I think might have been how subtly conservative and judgemental a lot of culture I absorbed was as a kid that I ended up assuming everyone thought I was a dorky loser so I avoided people I thought were “cool” to a degree. I still feel like I can’t relate to people my own age and that’s been the case since I was like 8 and its still the case in my 30’s. It makes me sad about what I’ve missed out on and makes me worry about my future.
EDIT: I just retook it, I scored a 149, for context average male non-autistic scores are 96.89, for autistic men the average is 109.64.
I feel you on the “social development” part. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it helped explain quite a bit about myself. Most men around my age in my area are the stereotypical “sportsball/golf/hunting/jesus” type, none of which I relate to in the slightest, so it’s difficult for me to make friends. I’m very much a homebody and tinkerer, and have at least 3 different projects going at any given time (cars/motorcycles, computers, guitars, hobby kits, etc). What’s frustrating is that people tend to lose interest very quickly once I start talking and getting into detail… I’m lucky that my wife is supportive as she is - without her I’d have nobody to bounce ideas off of 😅
That, and I was stuck in an abusive marriage for 11 years. I went from hanging out with friends and family all the time to only my highly-possesive and jealous (now ex) wife. Naturally, none of which came out until right after we tied the knot; she changed almost overnight. I’m happily remarried now, but that first marriage stole a lot of my life from me.
I have a childhood friend who was very recently diagnosed with autism. We talked a little while ago and he brought it up. My first thought was “ah, yep, that explains a lot”.
He’s still a great friend. It didn’t change anything about him, rather it helped make sense of his behaviors that we all just saw as “that’s just how [friend] is”.
I already knew I was autistic I got diagnosed like 10 years ago as an adult, but I had never taken the test in question (Cat-Q) and I guess I kinda figured my autism was “light” or something. I think the test’s questions were very effective at breaking through high masking so that’s why I scored so heavily autistic and it kind of struck me so hard it made me cry. Masking is exhausting and at this point I can’t really “stop” its so ingrained.
For me I don’t think there is anything intrinsically wrong with me but I think some aspects of it fueled some really stifling early life decisions that kept me from growing (before I learned I was autistic) and now I feel like I’m permanently “behind” socially/developmentally. Part of that also I think might have been how subtly conservative and judgemental a lot of culture I absorbed was as a kid that I ended up assuming everyone thought I was a dorky loser so I avoided people I thought were “cool” to a degree. I still feel like I can’t relate to people my own age and that’s been the case since I was like 8 and its still the case in my 30’s. It makes me sad about what I’ve missed out on and makes me worry about my future.
EDIT: I just retook it, I scored a 149, for context average male non-autistic scores are 96.89, for autistic men the average is 109.64.
I feel you on the “social development” part. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and it helped explain quite a bit about myself. Most men around my age in my area are the stereotypical “sportsball/golf/hunting/jesus” type, none of which I relate to in the slightest, so it’s difficult for me to make friends. I’m very much a homebody and tinkerer, and have at least 3 different projects going at any given time (cars/motorcycles, computers, guitars, hobby kits, etc). What’s frustrating is that people tend to lose interest very quickly once I start talking and getting into detail… I’m lucky that my wife is supportive as she is - without her I’d have nobody to bounce ideas off of 😅
That, and I was stuck in an abusive marriage for 11 years. I went from hanging out with friends and family all the time to only my highly-possesive and jealous (now ex) wife. Naturally, none of which came out until right after we tied the knot; she changed almost overnight. I’m happily remarried now, but that first marriage stole a lot of my life from me.