I have not! I’ll have to check it out!

I love high-waisted jeans for the same reasons! I can get into all my old dresses, but they can be a little tight, so those are for special occasions only until I have a flat tummy again 🙃

Rotten Pumpkin by Simon’s Nest is my favorite perfume ever. It smells like fall, with notes of patchouli, cinnamon, and pumpkin.

It’s been my go-to fragrance for years, though I also like Wistful Hedges and Kitchen Witchery, by the same maker, Burberry London, although that’s tecnically a men’s fragrance, and Hattai Le Couvent, for what I can only describe as “Cinnabon stand at a mall.”

I mostly just buy drugstore makeup lol. When I do my goth look though, I really like Manic Panic products.

I’m not considered overweight based on my height, but I weigh about 5-10 pounds more than I’d like to, since any excess weight seems to go to my tummy. I was a little mortified when the internet invented a new word to make people feel inadequate – skinny fat – because, yep, that’s me. 😮‍💨 I can hide my stomach pretty well with clothes, and people say I’m thin, but it can hurt a little looking in the mirror, and swimming is out of the question.

I work out every day, but I just can’t seem to get get the flat tummy I had in my college days.

This is a gock appreciation post. 😅

Today, nothing feels like it’s meant for me. I want to go camping. I want to drink a sour by a bonfire

I feel this on a profound level. I never feel more feminine than when I’m in nature, mostly since it’s nice to just escape and not have to worry about things like societal expectations.

My campfire drink of choice is a milk stout, preferably if it’s chocolate-y or maple-infused.

A lot of times I’m not sure what’s definitively feminine or masculine because the social norms tend to shift. This is stuff that feels feminine to me though:

I love the gothic side of femininity. Pentacles and black dresses and dark makeup and horror movies. One of my best friends is pagan, and I’m in her coven for moral support and the much cooler Pagan holidays (Yule > Christmas). I’m actually not embarrassed to say I was big into the Twilight craze in high school and I still love bands like Evanescence and Lacuna Coil to this day.

I think we’re at the point where fantasy novels are female-coded. I too get the feminine urge to slay the Witch-King.

Is hiking and camping a femme thing? I’m a nature girl 🍁

Aside from that, sewing, gardening, manicures, aromatherapy, Aggretsuko, fall, pumpkin spice lattes, and rom-coms if they’re written well. (My fave is “The Holiday.”)

Everything involving this topic makes me so angry and sad. How do you trust any man now that this technology exists?

I think we should all think twice about having photos publically accessible, or even visible to friends, on social media. Between deepfakes, Kiwifarms if you’re trans, and Clearview AI, Facebook and Instagram was a mistake.

It’s illegal in other countries and eventually I think it will me in my country too, but it’s already too late.

Like others have said, raising men properly, but also monitoring their internet usage during formative years. If they aren’t given unlimited tablet/internet access, which is often the case, boys will always still find ways to outsmart parental locks, and parents need to stay two steps ahead.

I’ve heard so much messed up stuff involving the internet and Gen Z/Alpha in the news that’s even worse than Andrew Tate exposure.

I’m kind more worried about future Gen Alpha men and younger Zoomers than Baby Boomer men at this point, but hopefully I’m wrong. There’s still time.

I want to preface my experience by saying the wage gap is a serious problem and women deserve to be paid the same as our male coworkers for the same job, not to mention women being overlooked for raises and promotions.

Early in college, I took a job working summers at a newspaper manufacturing warehouse for $7.50 an hour to try to get my foot in the door in the journalism field. The starting pay and job titles were the same for all the entry-level folks, but the actual work was sex-segregated, and they put me with the men, which really sucked. For the cis women, it was mostly standing in place, feeding newspapers into a machine and making sure there weren’t any jams. On one occasion when I got randomly put on the elusive morning shift (which never happened again), I was put on the feeders, and it was pretty easy; the worst part was pulling out a paper jam since that would halt the whole production line, but that rarely happened. Otherwise, for the cis men and one trans woman (me), we would do the packaging and loading. It was two or three people doing a physically strenuous job that required more workers to perform optimally, with one person frequently calling in sick, constant multitasking/running back and forth, lots of overtime and a handful of OSHA violations, including me being expected to operate a forklift without being certified. I don’t know why they didn’t hire more people with certifications or spread out the tasks more evenly. Things were so frantic all the time I’m glad I never got hurt on the job.

It was a lot of overtime, with random scheduling often landing me in the graveyard shift, so I didn’t have a social life during that time and I wasn’t sleeping very well. I put my two weeks’ the moment I was offered an internship writing and editing for a local magazine. The one positive is that I was in really amazing shape for those summers.

Tinted primer. I bought it with tinted moisturizer just to use during hot summer days, but it made me realize I’m not really into wearing a full face of foundation and now I wear it all the time.

It’s great for a natural look and kind of does everything. It color-corrects like concealer, adds emphasis to my cheekbones, fixes the dark rings under my eyes, and covers up the imperfections with my skin.

I usually pair it with eyeliner and mascara and nude lip gloss and it’s a nice minimalist look.

I’ve fortunately never had to use online dating apps myself, but I have looked over male friends’ dating profiles.

I think my best guy friend would be one of the better men out there, but he just got out of a seven-year relationship, is in a hurry to settle down before 30, and comes off really intense in his profile and messages without realizing it. Three big red flags right there.

One example in his profile: while it isn’t a red flag to like cuddling, it is one to say his idea of a perfect first date is meeting for coffee, then going back to his place to cuddle and watch a movie. It took a lot to convince him to revise that section on the grounds that most women prioritize safety and won’t want to go back to a man’s place on the first date.

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I appreciate the clarification. Thank you 🙂

I had another comment but I deleted it. It just sounds like you don’t want anyone to feel alone during the difficult process of transition, from a harm reduction standpoint, and that’s admirable.

I think I was just thrown by your wording about passing and then misinterpreted you, but I see what you mean. I’m a person who would rather be alone than be in men-only social spaces, but that’s not everyone, and I’m glad that this womens’ community can be a place of belonging for transmascs on their journies who choose to participate here.

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That makes sense. Thank you for clarifying.

I guess the subreddit allowing comments from trans men but not cis men makes me feel uncomfortable because I’d like to feel like I’m accepted in c/womensstuff because I’m a woman, not because I’m trans. If othera trans people are accepted into a women’s community because they’re trans and not a woman, and it makes me wonder why I’m specifically allowed here. If that makes sense.

But the polices here are far better than, in your example, womens’ communities who accept anyone with two x chromosomes.

And I’m not saying anyone should be excluded on my account. I know what exclusion feels like and it hurts. You’re right, it is very individual, and I personally don’t want to be anywhere near a men-only space. But there’s so much I can never understand about the trans man experience being a trans woman. Keep on doing what you’re doing. This is a well moderated community :)

Wanting to be included in spaces that align with one’s gender identity doesn’t have anything to do with passing though.

And while I can’t speak for all of us, being accepted in opposite-gender spaces because we don’t pass is no consolation prize. To the contrary, telling a trans woman, “You should find men’s spaces to be accepted in until you pass,” or vice versa, is what’s actually cruel.

Comfy cotton shorts and a camisole and wool socks. In the fall and winter, I wear sweatpants instead, and if it’s really cold, I throw on a cardigan. All in black so they go well with each other or as part of other outfits. It’s modular and minimalist and I spent way too much time thinking about and perfecting sleepwear over the past decade lol.

But I specifically like that they’re not technically pajamas because, like OP, I feel weird if I’m in pajamas all day. So the bottoms can double as lounge clothes if necessary and pair decently with most of my tops for a super casual look on a lazy day.

I actually don’t own any traditional pair of pajamas, which is all right by me.

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