You must log in or register to comment.
The horrors persist but so do I
So, here’s a fuck up from earlier this year:
A family friend came over one day. I was out by my car, having returned from a visit to the shops. I hadn’t seen him in years, and he asks how I was. I responded with “Surviving”, before saying something about my degree progress and stuff.
He goes a bit quiet and awkward, eventually making his way inside while I finished what I was doing.
I walked inside and walked past my parents talking to him. Then I remembered something. His partner was diagnosed with a brain tumour that had metastasised from breast cancer. I also remembered that a few days ago, my parents went to visit his partner in the palliative care unit because she lost the fight. I realised then that he clearly came around to tell my parents that she had passed away. She fucking died and I responded with “Surviving”.
Oh shit. Thank you for sharing this.
Ooooooffff
How’s it going?
“Yeah not bad, stable downfall”
Not sure on which podcast I heard this
My go-tos are: “Not too bad.” and ‘I can’t complain.’
At least where I was raised, it wasn’t ‘manly’ to respond cheerfully or positively, and the person questioning you absolutely did not have any interest in your well-being and it would be awkward to describe how you were feeling and why you felt that way.
It’s also possible to to shoot a ‘Hows it going?’ right back at them and cease interaction immediately.
Is this a USian thing?
The phrases (And the totally unnecessary racial qualifiers) may be but I’m pretty sure men are conditioned to suppress their emotions anywhere there’s patriarchy, which is most places these days.
You’re probably correct - but there are underlying reasons for such circumstances that aren’t all necessarily patriarchal.
I was mainly amazed that - apparently - all “white boys” can speak English. That’s, uh, not my experience.
Lol I edited my reply to add mention of the odd racial qualifiers just as you wrote the same. Microblog format seems to encourage weird and inaccurate racial group roundup phrases like that. Black american men absolutely do this shit too.
Why is this segregated?
My parents will always specify if the person they’re referring to or telling a story about is black. So to help them see how pointless it is I will always specify when someone is white.
They never get it and they’ll always pause the conversation “what does him being white have to do with anything? You said he was driving a Benz, that’s normal for white people.”
Reading this after the thread from that german kid wondering why Americans keep using racial qualifiers like white, black, etc really brings the point home.
“sure is”
How’s it going?
Haha, you know it!
“it is what it is”
My go to is “Ah yeah”, which could mean I’ve not considered it, but also dodges me venting the stress I’m feeling. It’s a win-win.
“I’m livin’ the dream (and would like to wake up)” is a personal favorite of mine.
“well, someone’s dream” is something I like to tack on the end haha
“Another day in paradise.”
“Nightmares are dreams too”
“…Dealin’…”
What do I do if these are my go-to’s?!
“I will overcome.”
“I keep dragging myself along.”
“Somehow, I remain alive.”
“I will perish, but not like this, hopefully, not today.”
“Everything is shit and I think we should all get a grenade and end it all.”
… and other reasons why you don’t ask a Lithuanian how’s it going for them.
My Irish American family is a lot like this. One of my favorites that I only use with them goes something like this:
Getting old sucks, and I cannot in good conscience recommend it.
I’ve taken to saying ‘adequately, thanks’.
“still breathing”
Personal favorite
“It’s going” for me isn’t a positive response, but I’d say it’s more neutral than anything. I wonder if age and/or region factor in. If my answer is something like “well, I’m still alive” that definitely means nothing good is going on (or, perhaps more accurately, I can’t see the good because of all the bad at that particular moment).
Yeah for me it’s the same as saying ‘same old same old’ or ‘more of the same’ or ‘same shit different shovel’
