I get that the heavier bowling ball affects the acceleration of the earth more than the lighter feather, but I don’t see how that means it’s falling faster as the meme is stating. The bowling ball would meet the earth first when dropped separately and from the same height because the earth is (imperceivably) accelerating toward it faster than it does the falling feather, but both the bowling ball and feather are falling at the same rate due to Earth’s gravitational force.

Or am I missing something?

It appears that you’re in a lot of pain. I’m truly sorry.

And he knows how many seconds it’ll take to kill a room of armed thugs

I, good sir or madam, am no homie of yours. I love geesies!