You could try turning on Do Not Disturb for all numbers, all the time. The calls and texts will technically still happen but you won’t be notified of them. You may be able to avoid voicemails if you never set it up. You’ll see all your texts if you ever open the app although you may be able to disable or remove it. (YMMV based on your particular phone.)

Don’t let John Green see this…

i will cover myself in dirt to show how I am in touch with nature and my true self. No dirt on my face, though.