Shit, these weather control machines are actually everywhere.

No wonder those kids show so much temper, they’re infants with old man faces.

Plus, no summer day is brighter than a clear winter day with snow on the ground.

Imagine, in the year of our lord 2024, not recognizing the noble whale shark as the peak of sharkitude.

Does anyone else think hammerhead sharks have been… maybe a little too quiet?

I’m wondering, now… Does Gimli say the word “Legolas” even once in the movies?

I was gonna say checking reflexes is a neurology thing, before I realized that was the joke.

Mermen, murdering geologists… Is there anything glumshoe isn’t an expert in?

“I support you, but the job interviews may be competitive. And they should probably be televised.”

Do you think it encourages people to be kind when they do something charitable and get told “Yeah, no, fuck you still”?

The “people are generally decent but the system is not” timeline.

But then we’d have to deal with the savage barbarism of writing it with the day before the month.

Can I build up an immunity to electrocution?

He’s setting expectations appropriately with that shirt, what more do you want?

Also a dude he paid to walk a few hundred miles.

Til you get there and find out a time traveler from further in the future already came back to before you arrived so Franklin turns you down because he’s already done someone who hadn’t been born yet and it’s not exciting anymore.

Must be Egyptian in the streets and Akkadian in the sheets.

Also, will need sheets for a dowry.

“Is life on Venus coming to kill us?”

“Oh, no, these are microorganis-”

Shuts door

I’m not sure how you’d pull it off, but it’d be fun to prank someone by making a treat appear in their fridge between checks, even though they live alone.

A solid bond can survive electron theft, as long as the victim stays positive.