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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • It DOES bother me that so many depictions of “strong women” in media are characterized like men. Apparently in movies a “strong female character” has to be physically strong and be able to kick ass. I would love to see more respectful and nuanced portrayals of feminine strength (in male AND female characters) through nurturing, empathetic, patient, and perceptive protagonists. I do think that femininity has been devalued in Western culture and could do with more respect. However he’s clearly full of shit about the “biological imperative” bullshit and has been huffing the Jordan Petersen pop evo psych junk “science” pervasive in the man-o-sphere.


  • There is no “the one”, and there is no such thing as a soul mate.

    If someone convinces you that they are your soul mate, and you genuinely believe it to be true… how much bad behavior would you put up with? Would you put up with insults? Passive aggressive digs? Resentment? Substance abuse? Physical abuse? What would it take for you to leave your soul mate? How bad would it have to get for you to give up “the one”? You would think that you might say, “well that person clearly isn’t the one”, but maybe this is just a rough patch. Sometimes things can be so good. They make you feel like there could never be a bond like yours, and after years or even a decade, it can be a hard truth to come to terms with.

    If you are in a relationship, it’s with another flawed human. There are people who have traits, personalities and temperaments that will be more or less compatible with you. You can think about how that relationship fits or doesn’t fit in your life, what your needs are, and what behavior you will or won’t tolerate. Most importantly, YOU ARE FREE TO LEAVE. If you feel relief when you are alone, and feel a sinking dread when they call or text, you do not owe that person a relationship.

    And anyone who threatens suicide if you leave, or says earnestly that they cannot live without you, is not entitled to your life in return. Someone who says that is either bluffing, or just looking for an excuse. You only get so many years of life to waste on misery.




  • I had some unhealthy eating habits in the first year I had a kid, and I seem to be able to maintain the same size easily but getting smaller is hard. I actually don’t mind what I see in the mirror, I think my shape is nice and I’m healthy enough to do all the things I enjoy, but what really bothers me is I can’t fit into my favorite clothes 😭 I love clothes, I love playing dress up, and in the decade prior to having a baby I had found some amazing second hand finds that brought me joy and delight. I have a panoply of pretty things that helped define my personal style, but now only a small fraction of my wardrobe fits me. I can still wear some pieces, and I’ve found a couple new things for my current size, but I look in my closet with longing to wear my beautiful clothes again.


  • I’ve been impressed with my set of bamboo blend underwear from Boody, specifically the underpants. I bought like 8 pairs over a decade ago, and when I bought another set a few years ago and mixed them into the old pairs it was hard to tell the difference. I machine wash them and air dry them and they’ve held up extremely well. They’re so soft and comfortable I can’t really feel them when they’re on, which is remarkable because I have trouble filtering sensory things.

    They’ve held up so well after hundreds of wears I feel good recommending them to others. They ARE very simple, but they come in a variety of fits and colors.



  • For “real butter”, try specifically a “cultured butter” like Kerrygold. There’s butter and then there’s cultured butter, and cultured butter has way more of a concentrated butter taste. Your average supermarket butter is basically just milk fat that’s been aerated but not aged at all, think of the difference in flavor between mozarella and an aged cheddar cheese. Using a cultured butter for your pancakes is probably the fastest and easiest way to zhuzh them up, along with real maple syrup.




  • “It gets easier”.

    Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s hard right now and the future being whatever doesn’t help. The challenges keep shifting constantly so that just when I feel like I have things figured out I’m faced with entirely new stuff to create solutions and strategize for. It also doesn’t help because we’re planning on having another one! So even if things get easier with kiddo one, we will be right back to the starting line with kiddo two. I know how tempting it is to say it but I’m tired of hearing it.



  • Banished, you can’t get more Indie than just one guy’s passion project.

    I don’t know what it is about that game but it really struck a chord with me and I’ve come back to it over and over. It’s my favorite game to play when I’m sick and can’t do anything. It’s relaxing and peaceful and cozy while also being complex and ruthlessly challenging at the same time, so it’s like spinning plates. Seems easy when you get the hang of it but it can all come crashing down if you make a bad enough mistake. It’s spawned some copy cats, and I’ve tried them, but the original just gets me somehow.