That’s not a pizza. That’s a doughnut with the hole filled, barely, with I’ll-chosen toppings, poorly.

Your porn has gone too far when…

I thought I was here to sooth your crippling loneliness, not to manage your dirty habits’ consequences.

Your mom’s fidget spinner.

Shhhhhh we don’t want the iPhone crowd coming to ruin Android by having to enshitify it so they feel right at home.