Your mom jokes are like photons, they never get old.

A digital photograph is also a render from data, change my mind.

My friends call me “Please fix my printer”.

Dicks out for dark matter!

Only white matter is allowed in this universe.

Puzzled BC wildlife ecologist can’t keep the bears from shitting in his microwave at night, further research is needed.

If that’s the child’s name, you have no one to blame but yourself, and are probably underqualified for handling a butter knife.

The minimum would be something like punting your kid to the orbit of Venus for a gravity assist that takes it to one of the outer planets where another gravity assist can push it to the edge of the solar system.
Out there, the angular momentum of the orbiting child will be very low and can be canceled out by a small thrust.
The child will then fall back into the sun. But this requires remote controlled thrusters strapped to the child. And a life support system if you want your child to actually die by burning in the sun. And then, the child will be well into their teens by the time they reach it.

“There’s no reason only consenting adults should have the experience.”

The starting temperature is 110 degrees Celsius. Half a litre of water will be poured on the stove every 30 seconds.

Well, that’s just dumb. That’s a steam boiler, not a sauna.

100C is literally instant death.

Laughs in Finnish (while sipping beer in a 100C Sauna)

Pretty sure 4 of those are Linux distros.

Don’t feel bad, it took the US 8 months to find him.

Took me way too long to find Saddam Hussein in this one.

Takeshis Castle – First Level

OP’s pic looks more like he went willingly.

You don’t know what your ISP-provided router does exactly. It may let some traffic through from the outside. It may get an over-the-air firmware update or config change at any time from your ISP. It definitely has well-known, unfixed vulnerabilities.

Also, if you rely on NAT, you have to have 100% trust in all devices that are inside your network.

When that happens, I’m happy. Cause there is no error when the task is done right.
I mail them a quick step-by-step manual with what they just did while I watched.
When the error happens the next time I can tell them to RTFM and get back to me if that doesn’t solve the issue.

Thank you for your valuable contribution.

What did it say?

I’ve had users who legitimately did not understand this question.
“What do you mean, what did it say? I clicked on it but it still didn’t work.”

Then you set up an appointment to remote in, ask them to show you what they tried to do, and when the error message appears, they instantly close it and say “See, it still doesn’t work. What do we even pay you for?”
I’ve had remote sessions where this was repeated multiple times, even after telling them specifically not to close the message. It’s an instinctive reflex.