I feel like so much of it comes from really not doing the work to understand. It doesn’t help that With trans issues people get flat out lied to and because there’s nobody on hand to say reality check stuff like : "What the fuck do you mean ‘The uptick of trans men is causing a wave of hysterectomies in a mass sterilization plot’ … one of the largest reason for temporary detransition is for pregnancies. Also STOP TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE BREEDING STOCK. " You get a rolling problem where the disinformation is layers deep and they only trust the sources who are financially rewarded for saying the bullshit- because they believe so hard that everything is a conspiracy and have this backwards perception that if only a tiny handful of people in a field are saying something that contradicts a varitable mountain of concensus then that thing is automatically somehow more believable…

I feel like having someone in your family who opens your eyes to the realities because of the immediate demonstratable contradictions of observed reality makes sense. These people caught in transphobialand have by and large been duped. They were ignorant and a bunch of people took advantage of that for financial and political gain. While I can see how not being immediately empathetic isn’t great I dunno if I am as mad when observing from the angle of these people just being kind of dumb enough to be played.

I mean his collected works of modules have quite a bit of sexism. The age old shit of rape and exploitation as set peices, maidens in need of rescue, duplicitous backstabby honeypots, women depicted as sparsely dressed supermodels or villians and just general statements that women were less capable of enjoying his stuff because of “biological differences in the female brain” is kind of all over the place. We could dredge that all up as the article sumerizes but we’d be here awhile. There’s not much point. Guy is dead.

Autism and ADHD definitely fits that bill. A lot of my friends are on the spectrum. I am a Non-binary trans person so a lot of the people I know IRL who also identify as Non-binary trans are autistic but I ended up with just ADHD. Still it makes me angry to hear my friends talked about as though they are a problem that was caused by somebody’s lack of oversight. They are incredible, funny, loving, worthwhile people to know. They struggle and it’s not always okay but that doesn’t make them a “problem”.

I get a dose of the same nonsense when I tell people that I am non-binary on here. People’s immediate assumption is I am very young. That I will “change my mind”. That all non-binary people are flighty star chidren who want to live in a land of make believe, feel special or be lavished with attention and it’s so frustrating. I am 38. I knew I was trans since I was 21…I think barring an extreme brain injury I’m pretty set in my ways. I am told that I am at times infuriatingly practical. I worked in crews with fairly conservative people for three and a half years straight being rehired for the gig when they had plenty of opportunities to ditch me. None of whom have any idea I’m enby. If they suspect anything with the name change they never said. I think being non-binary is functionally one of the least interesting things about me. It says very little about my personality and interests. When conservative people do talk to me on platforms a lot of them cannot reconcile me with their assumptions of trans people. They might label me “one of the good ones” … which believe me really doesn’t feel great to hear them say… but that’s how they rationalize the disconnect. Their pride demands not that that they review whether their skeptism is misplaced but instead I must be the exception that proves the rule. Ignoring that I know a fair number of other trans people my age and I am more similar to them than not.

That’s something I wish more people would actually give some thought to. As someone from a group who gets discussed ad nauseum in the media it really is the case that a lot of the skeptical people that become our problem really don’t have a personal data point for us. So many assumptions are made with things we theorize about but do not personally know. For us it can become plain very quickly when someone has never really interacted directly with us and are just operating on assumptions. I think the world is generally a better place when one is willing to be humble about what they choose to be skeptical about. Admitting to yourself and others that something is at present and maybe forever beyond your ken isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength.

Looking forward to a future when fake rhinestones are just kinda shit manufactured diamonds.

Not every short quippy explanation is correct…

That’s half the problem we face - people equate simplicity with absolute correctness or they internalize things as universal when something is drowning in nuance and situationality. Half of how science has changed in the last half century is a change from trying to understand perfect absolutes to getting down and dirty and figuring out and embracing spectrums and variations. The desire for simplicity does not serve. The catch all explanation is at best a placeholder that is incorrect but better than nothing and at worst it’s a siren song that leads you to damn yourself into believing a very untrue picture of the world.

There is a considerable overlap between misandry and misogyny. Things like gendered participation in society like a mens only draft is misogynistic because it posits that only men are of value in combat wartime defense but the issue does get muddier. Consider also alot of organized resistance to the draft for all American conflicts after WWII were actively participated in by women even though they were not directly effected. A lot of the social resistance to the conflict was female coded imploring to think in terms of social losses of sons, brothers and husbands in a plea to make men more humanized. The topic of having a draft at all regardless of whether it only effects men is generally unpopular demographically with women as a whole usually because they care directly for the welfare of men they know. So using that as any kind of “gotcha” isn’t going to be recieved well.

Misandry as an issue is tied into gender politics in a weird way. It pushes aptitude for being capable of dangerous work and disruptive classroom behaviours as a masculine trait… But the buy in comes from all sides. A lot of the victims of heavy misandry are queer and gender non-conforming youth and guys who are told they are too emotional, quiet and cautious. The whole “alpha male” discussion for instance is peak misandry. Take other issues of gender bias is court custody cases that tend to paint men as victims of gendered bias but less than 1/3 of judges are female and there is evidence that gender bias cuts both ways regardless of the judge so while there are definitely things female judges should consider they are not the majority that needs to be spoken to.

On a lot of misandry related issues “the call is coming from within the house”. Should we be looking at laws to combat misandry? Yes. Would these initiatives likely just be ultimately termed “woke feminizing indoctrination” by the right and be ridiculously unpopular with men demographically as a whole - also yes. Misandry comes in a lot of flavors not just the kind that comes in the forms disliked by “manly” men.

As a discussion point we as a society are in the infant stages of concensus on misandry. At the beginnings of the feminist movement a lot of misogyny came from inside the house too. Women were looking at other women with disgust at them being loud and brash and “man like”. Treating their desire for expanded social roles as an affront to the delicate nature of correct womanhood and saying nonsense like “what man would ever want you” or claiming that behaving like men would impact their fertility. That’s basically the genderflipped version of where we are now with a lot of men actually being quite on board with a lot of misandry.

Technically speaking the laws mostly already existed for everyone but since they were buried in disparate bills it wasn’t well known about or spotty in enforcement. This is more just improved codification rather than a lot of new laws.

So be assured all those death and rape threats, criminal damage and abuse based on sex are still a crime to do to men.

Getting an appropriate Misandry law on the books might not be terribly popular though since a lot of masculine folk themselves look at misandry as being just “apex manhood” and have bought into it wholesale. They probably wouldn’t thank you and would react poorly if you showed them the full scope of what counts.

The conversation around misogyny has reached a point of reasonable concensus regarding what counts and it’s damages. Misandry as a concensus needs a few more years in the oven as the center is still soft.

Honestly that some are capable is uplifting…just not in the way you’re thinking.

I got lucky, my family never cared about me being anything specific so my social transition was the dream of minor annoyances while they had to overwrite a lifetime of conditioning of what they called me… But I have other trans friends who are clinging to the bricks by their nails because their parents think they are possessed by demons or “Don’t want to deepen their mental illness by playing along” So many parents demand absolute piety and there is something inside us damaged irreparably when they withhold their love.

I get to be strong because I am cherished by my people. To see people weakened for the lack of something I am given so freely is to know that I am not just lucky. It is to know exactly how much I owe to circumstance. Many of those who starve for acceptance see people like this and while the bitter see the nearsightedness… The dreamer dreams that it is possible one day it could happen to them because people who actually changed when it is their kid are rarer than you could hope.

Okay… But that belly still a trap tho.