If you didn’t know deep down that it was wrong, you wouldn’t be using humour to distance yourself emotionally and trivialize the harm. This is very similar to for example how Israelis talk about Gazans. What you do to animals you will also do to humans given the slightest incentive and that is not a joke. That is something that any decent person should try to rectify upon recognizing in themselves.
“Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly… They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert.”
— Jean-Paul Sartre, Anti‑Semite and Jew
By intentionally conflating senses of the word “love” you are conceding the point. You lack the capacity to love that you should have, but you have maimed yourself to the point where you cannot. Recovery is possible.