Beehaw.org has disabled the down vote button/doesn’t federate down votes. So you could try posting over there, it’s pretty great

I wonder if a forum with real names would cause people to be more respectful.

Permies.com requires people to use their real name (at least something that sounds real) and there’s very little toxicity there. Although how much that affects things I don’t know, as the mods are very active, and quick to ban.