My husband always thought he did, but is slowly coming around. He will order “medium well” at restaurants but last time he did that, he got it and said it was overcooked, lol. Probably because at home I say “cooked on the outside not on the inside please, we spent a lot of money on this.”

Stew meat cooks forever and is better for it, but not steak, no.

Violence in general was out of control in the 1980s & 90s where I live, if you look at crime charts you can see a sharp drop since I was growing up here. It used to be ROUGH.

May I cross post this to the !curlyhair@lemmy.world community?

Equal parts

Mezcal

Lime

Aperol

Yellow Chartreuse

Shaken with ice, strained into a coupe. It has everything, smokey, sweet, bitter, the lime keeps it from being too sweet.

I am GenX and in my 20s lived stuffed into houses with 2 other couples so that we could make rent, I am not sure why people think we were skating on minimum wage, it was shit. If you put 6 wage earners in a house you can make it today too.

On college cost, that is absolutely true I do agree, it’s gotten so expensive it is not an automatic choice among my kids. Those who went straight out of school mostly didn’t have to borrow, nor did I pay much, they got scholarships to cover it.

Illegal even in Florida. If you have to clock out for breaks you get 1/2 hour minimum lunch on an 8 hour shift. Plus I think 2 paid 15 minute breaks, on the clock. I can’t imagine this is real because no manager would document the illegal request in an email.

I find jumping in and making mistakes the fastest way to competence in most areas, but especially cooking.

What do you like to eat?

(And I would like to also offer you hope. Anyone can learn to cook. My ex was literally the worst cook in existence. He burned a pot of water once, and burned all the skin off one of his hands a different time. But he learned to cook so well that he took a failing deli in a grocery and turned it into a profit center. )

I am on team cast iron, nonstick coatings always seem to be problematic. Cast iron gets better and better with time, and I cook with fats, so it works for me. Buy once use forever, other pans have come and gone but my cast iron is still here and my kids argue about who will get it when I die.

But as I’m sure others have already noted, technique makes a big difference too - oil into hot pan, food into hot oil and not moving the food at the beginning helps it release.

Viking! Watch out, here I come!

I did have a more themed cocktail today. 2oz bourbon, 5 raspberries, demitasse spoon of sugar, half oz lemon, half oz raspberry liqueur, quarter oz Campari. Muddle fruit and sugar, add the rest, shake with ice.

Strained twice, put in a barolo glass over ice, garnished with raspberries on a pick.

I’m not trans but a lady into skincare, with a trans kid (boy now).

Tretinoin, Retin-A, is the night cream of the gods. It both controls acne and slows aging, I have used it for so many years and it’s really paid off. Ask your doctor if it would help you.

That’s the backbone of my routine. I wash with CeraVe bar “soap” (it’s not soap), use a toner, DMAE gel, then at night the tretinoin, in day a light estrogen cream and mineral sunscreen. Lots of prescription stuff but I have NO genetic predisposition to great skin so it takes maintenance to have great skin.

For body care, try (not daily) a high potency glycolic acid lotion made for KP, that will help the skin turn over faster. Use that every few days, and between just moisturize daily with something light - CeraVe is good, and Naturium also make great stuff, neither are crazy expensive.

Not fashionable, personally, and my kids and their girlfriends have such different styles. Good luck to you!

I love good whiskey, particularly bourbon but anything good enough to drink by itself, lengthened with fizzy water and a lemon wedge. On ice. It’s such a perfect drink. Sort of a Kentucky ranch water.

My husband’s comment was “that’s silly. the whole point of marriage is to grow old together.”

Anchovies. I wouldn’t say judged but I’m alone in my love for them. Everyone in my house likes kimchi. It is loud smelling, I can sort of understand your family.

Make them a kimchi grilled cheese, or the kimchi/butter noodles - sometimes having it cooked lets it “click” for people, that was the gateway kimchi for everyone else in my house.

At work it’s licorice, though the old lady directly across from me does like it. I can imagine not liking it, but yum it’s my second favorite candy.

This all makes sense, But do guys even have the yes/no? Most who I talk to about this (both straight and gay) say it’s more points for more beauty, that the prettier (for lack of a less gendered word) someone is, the more other stuff they might overlook, and that if someone is freaking awesome as a person, they can start to literally look more attractive to them. I don’t experience either of those.

Like they weight beauty in their evaluation, it’s a factor to set on there with everything else.

Oh boy do I agree it’s dehumanizing, it reminds me of dog shows and how they have “conformation” as a quality. Racists make me think of dog breeders too, it’s dehumanizing in a similar way. People aren’t breeds and beauty isn’t conformity.

I think my standards may not be standard (maybe nobody’s are) and I think of that 1-10 as a more universal ranking, like something a committee would set standards for.

Not whatever scale my husband is using that puts me at “smoking hot 10/10” when objectively that is not true, either, when I love someone they do not get better looking to me.

So maybe. But it doesn’t feel to me like it has much to do with how objectively good looking a guy is, it’s more like whether I can look at him comfortably. Which might exclude extremely good looking guys actually.

Both my long term guys I would put around the same good lookingness as me, so maybe buried in there is a ranking and it’s not conscious. Maybe the filter is 4<x>9.

Yeah. I wouldn’t call grooming unnatural, and the difference also had to do with staying in shape but yes - insofar as looks are something you do, and not just something you are, on average straight guys seem to do the least, and women generally do more to get looking how we want to look.

Like, I don’t makeup or straighten my hair but do at least organize my hair, do so much skincare, care how my clothes fit, work out, I guess just sort of care about appearance.

As I get older this disparity increases, guys who could skate on youth and metabolism hit a wall and age faster than guys who did stuff to stay in shape and used sunscreen, some skincare.

I have been thinking about this, and I know when I was younger, most of the guys I knew were not physically attractive, more of the women made an effort and looked good. So it’s not a ranking where you take ten people and line them up with 1 the ugliest and 10 the hottest, more like a percentage of possible good looks. Really there were no “10” guys around.

That doesn’t mean none were acceptable, at all- I’m sure I have written about this before but I’m straight and my judgement of guys’ physical attractiveness is binary - in or out. You look good enough? That is good enough, and everything else about you matters more. I am not going to like you better because you are hotter, and nobody is so good looking I can want them just based on looks. You don’t look good enough? Nothing else you are can matter. That “good enough” bar is not all that high, but it’s a hard line.

So the ranking of guys’ looks like 1-10 or whatever is completely separate from how attractive I might find them, if that makes sense.

What a gorgeous picture!

God no. I had a 1967 mustang. Had to fix it every time I drove it, it drank gas like a gasoholic, everything was manual but in terms of life and cost, it was the most expense for the fewest miles and not reliable. Like even if it had been newly manufactured to the same specs it would not be reliable or safe or even fun to drive.

My brother, meanwhile, had a Corolla he kept for 300k miles without much maintenance.

I am still in my 2014 Honda, and expect to be able to use it for 10 more years. Now do I think the 2024 better than the 2014? Not really, most of what I want was already in this one, but modern cars are so much better built than vintage cars were.