Here’s a way to have everyone meet based on this post: The first person makes up any backstory. The second person explains how they’re somehow involved in the first. Then maybe when you get to the end, the first guy goes again, and explains how his story is related to the last guy.

I was trying to figure out how many you could stack, just going by the SRD. I think the best you can do is:

Ghost Half-Dragon Half-Field Petitioner Worm that Walks Demilich Lich Pseudonatural Vampire Celestial Lycanthrope Fiendish Phrenic Paragon Human

That has everything but Skeleton, Zombie, and Half-Celestial. Skeleton and Zombie make you mindless (which keeps you from becoming a Worm that Walks) and require a skeleton (which a Worm that Walks doesn’t have). Half-Celestial requires you be good or neutral, and turns you into an outsider, which only a Worm that Walks or Half-Dragon could undo. And it would work great with Half-Fiend if it wasn’t for each one forcing an alignment the other restricts. I don’t think any of the ones that don’t change creature type change alignment.

Or if the DM rolls for HP, they have a 1/8 chance of dying from one hit. Maybe they get death saves, but those are optional if it’s not a PC.

The kid has a sword. They might get stabbed.

It’s a D&D setting about a city built around a tarrasque, constantly harvesting it faster than it can regenerate.

My answer is the same: I’d really like to, but I can’t find anyone to do it with, and I doubt I’d be any good at it.

I had a campaign idea based on Salt in the Wound. The players pass through Salt in the Wound, which is much smaller than it once was, then they go do some quest in a nearby cave system. Once they get in, the cave collapses behind them, and they have to fight their way through it. Once they get out, they find out what the earthquake was. Salt in the Wound used to be doing damage faster than the tarrasque could heal, and it soaked up a lot of nonlethal damage. But since it slowed down, it had gradually been healing, until today it finally escaped.

The players just did their first adventure. They have no chance to stop it. At first, their quests are simply to help with the damage caused in the wake of the tarrasque or warning villages that it’s moving towards. As they level up, they might get powerful enough to change its path, or fight off the various factions trying to use the tarrasque for its own ends. And once the players are powerful, they can finally defeat it. And they have a choice between bringing back Salt in the Wound, which is now more necessary than ever given all the infrastructure that was just destroyed, or killing it for good. Or maybe if they really want to, they’d have some shenanigans that let them control it.

Sacred Flame as a range of 60 feet. There’s no rule that Tarrasques can’t throw stuff, and they look like they have hands, so reasonably even in 2014 they could. They’d have disadvantage throwing something at a target 60 feet away, but they’d need a lot fewer hits to land.

Repeating would still be ideal, for ammo usage, but it needed its regeneration back.

I agree. You can’t outright kill a tarrasque so easily anymore, but being able to put them on the run so easy isn’t great either. They also should have better ranged options. There are plenty of ways to outrange them. And a burrowing speed is too good. It doesn’t just stop cheesing. It stops players from fighting them legitimately.

Personally, I’d bring back regeneration along with the attack they used to have where they shot spines, or maybe give them a godzilla-inspired breath weapon, make it so anyone they hit is knocked prone. Once you get them to half health or down too many Legendary Resistances (though I’d probably change the Legendary Resistance mechanic so it costs HP instead of having three of them), they start digging, bringing you to the second stage of the boss fight. I’d make it so at high levels there are options to follow them undergound, but give the Tarrasque additional Lair Actions with “underground” being its lair. Maybe even have a final stage of the boss fight where it emerges in the Underdark and you also have a bunch of creatures from there to deal with.

The problem is if it gives you the exhaustion, there’s a 33% chance you can never cast Wish again, so you can’t do it consistently.

You’d need a magic bow. Or better yet, a bow with the Repeating infusion.

Also, they improved it in the 2024 version. It has a 150-foot ranged attack and a Burrow speed for if things go sideways. I think they could have done better, but at least you don’t have to worry about Aarakocra poachers driving them to extinction.

God dammit boy, those are glass bottles, not water balloons!

unfathomably rich

How rich are they expected to be? I’ve noticed that wages seem to have gone up from 3.5, with unskilled labor going from 1sp/day to 2sp/day, and skilled labor going from 3sp/day to 1gp/day. If you wanted to retire (for 50 years) comfortably (2gp/day), you’d need 36,535 gp, which I think is a lot more than a low level adventurer would have.

fight a small army

I’ve heard that so long as the small army has a way to deal damage at all, they’ll dominate even high level enemies. Did they change that? I think the whole idea of adventurers makes a lot more sense if they can’t just send a small army to easily deal with a dragon or whatever else they’re worried about.

True. Also, it assumes that the parent commenter was being at least a little bit reasonable and trying to work backwards from there. Maybe I should have asked them if that’s what they were doing.

Assuming it works, they are clearly not beyond help. If you find yourself constantly forgetting to click the button, there’s no shame in finding some workaround. And solving small problems is half the fun of being a programmer.

Or you could save on rolls and say you’re out of arrows on a natural 1.

I’m wondering if they mean have ChatGPT reading the messages in Discord and automatically tracking it? It should be able to do that, but I’m not sure about the specifics. And it’s not something LLMs are good at, so you have to be able to work around it. It would basically need to notice whenever you use an item, then tell something else to remove that from you inventory.

Converts my one electrum to 50 cp. Now I have infinite money!

Headcanon: Hercules actively kept people using his Roman name even as the Greek names became more popular because “Heracles” means “Hera is great” and he knows first-hand that she is not. Though I’m not sure why he doesn’t just go by his birth name of Alcaeus.

They’d probably go with Sandy Sandy Desert.

But with all that XP from all the fish he killed, shouldn’t he be a high level by now?