Binge watching a great tv show? Had a blast taking the kids somewhere? Got a slam dunk at work? Whatever it is, we wanna know! Tell us below

    • mugthol@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      4·
      2 days ago

      Congrats on becoming a moderator there, I’m sure you’ll fulfill your role splendidly! Thank you for all the content that you (and the other mods) provide! <3

      I’m mainly a lurker but I want to see this community thrive so I do my best to post comments when I feel like I can contribute something.

  • knightly the Sneptaur@pawb.socialEnglish
    7·
    2 days ago

    I got to cross an item off my bucket list.

    I never had any enby role models while growing up, so it’s been a dream of mine to be that visible enby for others

    After almost two years, I’m finally visibly trans and hot enough to crack eggs on sight, and I found that out this week when a passerby stopped to call me beautiful, thanked me for “being living proof that it’s worth it”, and announced her plans to start hormone therapy right there.

    I wish her all the best~<3

  • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    9·
    3 days ago

    I’m going to meetup with a very handsome man later today; a hookup. He seems very sweet, and checks all of my boxes. I doubt it will go anywhere, but it feels nice to be desired, even if for a fleeting moment. ☺️

    I can see how this may be in conflict with my feminist values. But as most things, there is quite a bit of nuance. It may come across as me seeking validation from a man, and maybe that’s true. But I have needs, and he will hopefully fulfill them. I see it for what it is, an encounter, and an addition to my body count (ugh thanks patriarchy), which does not affect me at all. I am not defined by that. Clearly I think way too much about these things. 😅 That is the conflict.

    • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alMEnglish
      8·
      3 days ago

      tbh I’m not sure a social critique or movement like feminism makes sense to apply to individuals - it helps us understand the dynamics, but it’s not like one person can somehow overcome those dynamics all by themselves … what I’m saying is, you go girl ✨ 💅 😄

      • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        3·
        2 days ago

        Thank you for your reply! I definitely see your point. Perhaps I have some perceived guilt from not standing by my ethos. But you’re right! I should probably get over myself here lol.

        what I’m saying is, you go girl ✨ 💅 😄

        Fuck yeah, thanks for the encouragement ☺️

        • foxglove (she/her)@lazysoci.alMEnglish
          4·
          2 days ago

          I get that, I feel the same way and I do think it’s worth considering how our actions as individuals intersect with the social and structural.

          Also, I don’t think it’s that terrible to try to go against the grain of society to be a good person, but I think sometimes we just use things like this to beat ourselves up even though it’s not that big of a deal …

          Like, when I first transitioned, I had so much cognitive dissonance about using makeup to feminize - I felt like I was betraying my feminist values. Now I realize I was just being femmephobic, not feminist.

          The idea that you feel good when a man is attracted to you is not some great sin against feminism, it’s normal sexual behavior. Sure, some women don’t stand up for themselves and get so sucked into pleasing men that they undermine other women and play into sexist dynamics, but we also live in patriarchy and the focus should not be on blaming the victims of this system for its predictable outcomes …

          All this to say, I don’t think you should feel like a bad feminist for loving a man (or for loving the way it feels when a man loves you). I like wearing makeup and I’m still learning to not feel guilty about being feminine - certainly these things are compatible with thinking women and men deserve equal rights.

          • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
            3·
            2 days ago

            I relate to that so much. A bit more introspection might be a good thing for me.

            Regarding the cognitive dissonance, I feel you. I’m still averse to wearing or even trying to wear certain types of clothing. It feels inauthentic and as if I’m some sort of imposter. I know these things are not true, but it’s hard to shake the feeling. Some of that is due to humiliations I’ve endured by so-called friends, when all I was trying to do was try something new, which was appropriate for the weather and social setting. I no longer wear shorts, even when the temps hit close to triple digits, and am afraid of wearing dresses and skirts. I don’t want to experience those feelings ever again. So instead, I stick with femme fitting jeans and shirts. The worst I hear from that is that my style is so limited, and that I should try new things. In other aspects of my life, I’m quite adventurous. But when it comes to certain feminine things, I am afraid of being judged harshly, especially by those that supposedly care about me.

    • LadyButterflyshe/her@lazysoci.alOPMEnglish
      4·
      3 days ago

      I get that. I get the balance between knowing what we’re “supposed” to think as feminists and how we actually feel Being desired is a good feeling, it’s validation and it makes us feel good. It sounds like you’re being really sensible and practical about the whole thing.

      • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        I’m trying to be more practical about things now. Especially as I put too much care and thought into what I was hoping would be the start of some relationship with a guy. His words were sweet which made me feel special, but his actions spoke more, and left me confused. “I miss you, and am excited to see you tomorrow”—forgets to set alarm and comes up with a weak excuse to not meetup? Something isn’t adding up. I decided to step back and see what he would do/say, and haven’t heard from him for a couple of days now. It made me realize that I don’t need to hope for something to come from what looks to be turning out to be nothing.

        Now I am looking at things in a more realistic way. I want to have fun; scratch the itch, so to say. And if something ends up developing past that, cool beans. If not, then at least I am not setting myself up to be let down.

  • kaitco@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9·
    3 days ago

    I closed on my very first house.

    I’m a 40-year-old single lady, and had my house built from scratch. It’s been a pretty long journey and since moving day is tomorrow, I’m just surrounded by a labyrinth of boxes, but it all feels pretty surreal.

    • LadyButterflyshe/her@lazysoci.alOPMEnglish
      6·
      3 days ago

      Kaitco that’s incredible! I’m single too just buying my first house was awful I can’t imagine what having it built has been like. How are you feeling about the move?

      • kaitco@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        It’s a mixed bag on the move. I’ve lived in my current place for 6 years and on this side of the city for an additional 12 years. Now, I’m packing up everything I have and moving into a whole different zip code, 35 minutes away from the current place.

        Plus, my mother has been here for the last few days and you know how there’s highs and lows when you’re used to being on your own and suddenly your world is all in boxes and there’s people in your spaces…

        But, I think it will all hit me once I see my stuff in the new house. I haven’t cried yet, but I won’t be ashamed when it probably happens later. 😅

        • LadyButterflyshe/her@lazysoci.alOPMEnglish
          3·
          2 days ago

          Yep there’s bound to be a mixed bag, it’s excitement but loss and you’ve got several stressful things. Definitely let the crying come when it’s time!