I am so sorry, but I need to vent, and the only person I manage to talk to has disappeared with no notice (probably just overwhelmed with life stuff but I hope they’re okay. I’m worried.)
I am in overwhelming pain. My chronic intractable pain has been so much worse lately. Probably at least partially due to stress because everything is fucked. I can’t afford my next pain medicine refill, and I’m nearly out, and the friend that disappeared usually helps me cover it. I’m disabled and can’t work and have literally no money. So I’m just fucked. Even WITH the meds, I’ve been struggling to handle the pain and it’s scary. I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to survive without any kind of pain control. Not to mention the withdrawal. I am scared. I am scared I am going to get overstimulated and overwhelmed from the pain that I go all stereotypical autistic meltdown and shutdown and bash my fists into my head and hurt myself, and I feel ashamed and weak that I can’t just deal with it like a normal person. I don’t know what to do. I’m so stressed and in pain and anxious I’m dealing with dissociation, depersonalization, derealization way more often than usual. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I don’t know. I’m fucking scared, I can’t take this pain. I’m sorry for whining and being weak especially when so many have it so much worse than me. I don’t even know if this makes sense. I can’t think 'cause I’m in too much fucking pain!!! I am scared and I am so fucked AAAAAAAAAAAA.
I’m sorry to hear about your condition. Please keep us informed of your situation and let us know if you have a way for us to get you some money if need be.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. <3 I’m sorry this response is so late; I haven’t really been on here, I’ve just been surviving, and additional big scary life stuff has been happening. It’s too much.
I’m still in the same spot I was when I wrote the comment, unfortunately (worse, actually.) I hate taking/asking for money/help from people so much, but I logically know I need to suck it up and not be ashamed of needing help, but it’s so hard, ya know? Bleh. I have the usual apps like CashApp ($izzi6), PayPal (izzi sixx at rocket mail dot com), Venmo (egdirbretla). I don’t know if anyone will see this, though, since it’s an old post. If you do, I’d like your opinion: should I make a post…? I don’t know if that would be weird or if it’s allowed here, or where I’d post it if so? I’m sorry if those are stupid questions or if I make little sense. It’s so tough to think/communicate and I’m so ashamed. Please let me know if I can try to clarify anything.
And thank you again for being so kind to me and for caring about me even though I’m a stranger. I appreciate it so much.
Being scared feels like an appropriate response, and I’m sure you’re not alone. It’s big of you to be able to type this out and I bet a lot of us are rooting for you. I’ve dealt with chronic pain and an anxiety diagnosis for decades, so I know this is hard. One breath at a time, friend.
Thank you so much. <3 I’m trying so hard to. It’s not going well. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with this, too. I hope yours is well managed! Thanks again for your kindness to me. I appreciate it.
I am so sorry, but I need to vent, and the only person I manage to talk to has disappeared with no notice (probably just overwhelmed with life stuff but I hope they’re okay. I’m worried.)
I am in overwhelming pain. My chronic intractable pain has been so much worse lately. Probably at least partially due to stress because everything is fucked. I can’t afford my next pain medicine refill, and I’m nearly out, and the friend that disappeared usually helps me cover it. I’m disabled and can’t work and have literally no money. So I’m just fucked. Even WITH the meds, I’ve been struggling to handle the pain and it’s scary. I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to survive without any kind of pain control. Not to mention the withdrawal. I am scared. I am scared I am going to get overstimulated and overwhelmed from the pain that I go all stereotypical autistic meltdown and shutdown and bash my fists into my head and hurt myself, and I feel ashamed and weak that I can’t just deal with it like a normal person. I don’t know what to do. I’m so stressed and in pain and anxious I’m dealing with dissociation, depersonalization, derealization way more often than usual. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I don’t know. I’m fucking scared, I can’t take this pain. I’m sorry for whining and being weak especially when so many have it so much worse than me. I don’t even know if this makes sense. I can’t think 'cause I’m in too much fucking pain!!! I am scared and I am so fucked AAAAAAAAAAAA.
You are not weak; living with chronic pain requires great strength.
Thank you. I really appreciate it. <3
I’m sorry to hear about your condition. Please keep us informed of your situation and let us know if you have a way for us to get you some money if need be.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. <3 I’m sorry this response is so late; I haven’t really been on here, I’ve just been surviving, and additional big scary life stuff has been happening. It’s too much.
I’m still in the same spot I was when I wrote the comment, unfortunately (worse, actually.) I hate taking/asking for money/help from people so much, but I logically know I need to suck it up and not be ashamed of needing help, but it’s so hard, ya know? Bleh. I have the usual apps like CashApp ($izzi6), PayPal (izzi sixx at rocket mail dot com), Venmo (egdirbretla). I don’t know if anyone will see this, though, since it’s an old post. If you do, I’d like your opinion: should I make a post…? I don’t know if that would be weird or if it’s allowed here, or where I’d post it if so? I’m sorry if those are stupid questions or if I make little sense. It’s so tough to think/communicate and I’m so ashamed. Please let me know if I can try to clarify anything.
And thank you again for being so kind to me and for caring about me even though I’m a stranger. I appreciate it so much.
Yes, please make a post in /c/chat and include the following:
Thank you and I hope your situation improves.
Being scared feels like an appropriate response, and I’m sure you’re not alone. It’s big of you to be able to type this out and I bet a lot of us are rooting for you. I’ve dealt with chronic pain and an anxiety diagnosis for decades, so I know this is hard. One breath at a time, friend.
Thank you so much. <3 I’m trying so hard to. It’s not going well. I’m sorry you’ve dealt with this, too. I hope yours is well managed! Thanks again for your kindness to me. I appreciate it.